The day AFTER Thanksgiving Day

This is the day AFTER Thanksgiving. Of course I ate too much, reminisced about the past, missed people no longer with us, cried a few tears in their memory, joyed at the prospect of new tomorrows, smiled at the constant changes that happen in our lives, and listened, talked and laughed.

All day yesterday I was thinking about what the day really means, listening to people and what they give thanks for out loud. It was really the simplest of things that were mentioned again and again and seemed the most important. Good health, friends, family, enough food to eat, a roof over their heads, a job, a sense of humor, faith, laughter. And almost everyone finished their thoughts with . . . "I am really so blessed already".

I have to agree. But I want to add something else. I am so very thankful to see that HOPE stills lives on and that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE somehow prevails and is strong enough to make everything better.

an RSVP

I think this message is timely for the beginning of a new week.
I went to a birthday party this weekend for a 70 year young person. All was lovely. the venue, the people, food and music. There was of course a reason to celebrate good times. There were acknowlegements, speeches and words to live by.

The birthday celebrant held in his hand an RSVP. It was the first one he received after the invitations went out. From a special person in his life. Yes, I'll be there the RSVP said.

But something happened. With best intentions to be part of a celebration, the sender of the RSVP suddenly had passed away a week earlier. It matters not their age, or their intentions. They were gone now. Sometimes we shouldn't wait for an official occassion to share freindship or love. That moment may not be there for us. We have to do it at every chance we have. May you have moments in your life this week, that you take the time to make a difference.

The Truth about Diaries

     Yesterday, I read a story about diaries. Oh, how profound their contents can be. The author journaled everyday for years. 
    In elementary school, I kept my first diary. It excited me writing about my feelings and secrets. It even had a flimsy little "lock and key" to keep the contents private. My friends told their diaries everything on their minds, their hopes, dreams and problems.
     My mother found my diary while changing the bed sheets while I was at school. Tucked under the corner of the mattress. She knew I had it. It was from a gift exchange at school for the holidays. The problem began when my mother read it.  Now, my mother was European with a very limited formal education. As a young girl in war torn Europe her life was very different than mine. (a tragic story for another time).
     She had to read and translate. The literal translation of one language to another does not usually translate well. I had been angry with her one day, actually many days, as I deemed her way too strict and controlling. I wanted to be like the other girls. So I wrote my story, from the perspective of an eleven year old and motivated by what my friends wrote in theirs.  I wrote words that were angry and emotional. But there wasn't an issue in trying to translate my entry.
    I had written that I hate my mother. Imagine how she felt reading my words. You don't need a translation for that. I didn't see her face when she read it since I was at school at the time. By when I came home, she met me with a stern look on her face.There wasn't any evidence of hurt coming from her. At least not from my view. There was anger and rage and lots of screaming. About how lucky I was to have parents. How she wished she still had hers. I don't know how much she thought about what I had written over the years. But I certainly learned how powerful words are.
     Because of that, when I write, I think about honesty. And I think about perception. There are times when I find it hard to put the words down without wondering how it would affect the person reading it. Sometimes, maybe too often, I give them the benefit of the doubt. I give them that little bit of opening to feel that it is not just about me and my opinion, but it is my perception at that moment. I would like them to read it one day. One day when I feel they might understand what I write and why I write. Not to judge, but to understand. To grow. To go back and read again for new perspective. That goes both ways, for me and for them. Because only in the revelation of trying to be honest do our words speak the truth.
   I write this in honor of my mother's birthday today. I knew long ago that she understood. I love you Mom.

OK, I'm Admitting

I am admitting that I am not perfect. So what you say. No big deal. Ahh, but it is a big deal. But not in the way you might be thinking.

 It's not that I wish I were pefect. Sure, I used to want that. Or I thought I did. I thought it was possible. But I can't even define what a perfect person is or does. People that think they are perfect, or close to it, are really just stuck in place.

Imperfection is growth. It still has potential and possibilities. Imperfection is not afraid. I love imperfection that has a positive and yet a relaxed attitude. I have seen growth in myself, especially in the last few years. I had grown tired of being whatever I was supposed to be for others. It definitely wasn't working. I wasn't even sure that my efforts were going to be accepted, let alone appreciated. That's not a good feeling. Unsure. Hesitant. Doubtful. That was me. Because no matter how I added up my list of efforts, accomplishments or attempts . . . my bottom line of perfection just was never enough. It was never going to be any more than that. Attempts. You see, I forgot the major quotient in the math problem. ME. The more I am not striving for perfection, the more I can strive for being realistic, being better, being sincere. The less I worry about perfect, the more I can use my energy to just do. I don't believe I might fail.  I believe I will grow. I will be more because everything I do adds to my worth. I am open to knowing I might fail, but I probably won't. I will accomplish more than I thought. I am not afraid. I am enlightened. I am inspired. I am confident. Happiness comes from inside factors, not outside ones. I finally figured out how to do the math story problem that I always disliked. Add a "genuine" me to the total. I'm discovering that maybe math isn't so bad after all.

The Full Plate

   I've been really busy lately and have a full plate. Most of it is really quite good if I put forth my best efforts into my projects.  But I am human and have a knack for procrastinating, of which I am not always proud of.  It's as if I have a full tank as I'm getting on the road for a fun trip and in my exuberance I realize that suddenly my fuel tank is close to empty and I don't know what direction the next gas station is at. And in the regrouping, I have lost some of the momentum for the trip because I also sense I am needing to take time out to eat, sleep and better understand my journey.

      I have always admired those that can visualize the big picture better than I can. It is a continuous learning procecss for me. That, with the added realization that I am slowing down a bit because of the natural aging process and some health concerns have left me questioning my skills of time management. In the last few months I have felt pangs of anxiety in my list of things I am working on, things I need to devote more time too, stuff I want to do more of, some needed down times and everyday life in general.  I sense that perhaps I am not always making the best use of my time. I'm not the first person that feels this way and far from the last. One thing for sure, I am NOT bored.

     So today, I will waste a little time, feel overwhelmed, make 'todays' list, review my 'still to do' list,  daydream, get in the shower, count my blessings and get back on the road with a full tank. I may not be sure where the next refueling station is, but I have an extra gallon of fuel with me, a blanket with bread, wine and cheese to stop and enjoy the scenery, a camera to capture it to memory and the joy of taking someone with me and making friends along the way. How wonderful life is that I have taken a step back to realize my endless opportunities and that I can accomplish much in each step along the way. I really don't think I want to ever reach a permanent "goal", I think I am much happier exploring the endless goal posts down the road of  my life and just keep moving along at the pace that's right for me.

Our amazing bodies

The human body is amazing.
When you can't do something by the original way that most people do it, there is always another way.
If you are blind, you can still see . . . . . . .  
(by touching)
If you are deaf, you can still hear. . . . . . .
(by vibrations)
If you are mute, you can still speak  . . . . .
(by sign language)
If your heart has been broken, you can still love again . . . .
(by choice).

a few hours

It doesn't take much.
Just a few hours of talking and laughing with a friend, can change your whole perspective on life again.

words that tear at your heart

I went to a funeral recently, this was a friend of mine, but even more so, he was a lifelong friend of my S.O.
Lifetime friends. We don't get to have many of those. 
My S.O. has been keeping up with him for years and was able to be with him when he passed away.
After his death, we called our condolences by phone, and had stopped by the house.

But here at the funeral home things are sometimes so real, so intense.  Death seems to take up so very much room often taking up all the air around us.
I was giving condolences to our friend (the widow) and hugging her, both of us had tears streaming down our cheeks. She hugged me back so very fiercely and desperately saying, " I don't know what I am going to do without him. He was my world, he was my everything".

We become changed after every death in our lives. As we will change the lives of others upon our death.
Give an extra hug today. Say words with meaning. Forgive a little bit more.  Love the person as much as you can. It is a privilege to have someone to love you and for you to have someone to love.

Bloggers, Giving, and Paying It forward

Lately many of us are cutting back, staying in, doing without and giving less. Understandable with the economy and all that's going or not going on. We draw in when things get tough whether in our personal lives or the world in general.

When we don't get, it is good to give. It is really at this time that we have the potential to change someone's day, their attitude and their direction in life. Gestures of kindness. So simple. And that in turn gives back to you. A circle of everyone just giving a little of themselves, even to someone you don't know.

I'd like to introduce you to,

Mary Stebbins Taitt. A poet, an artist, a free spirit, a gentle soul, a friend . . . With A Pay It Forward opportunity. She is as diverse and fascinating as there are hours in the day. I first stumbled on her at "Marys Detroit Photoblog". She photographs beautiful aspects of the Detroit area that has too long been thought of as decaying and old. I progressed to "MoleskinExchange", where she and other artists draw and paint in each other's  journals by passing them from one artist to the other. That is a definite "need to check" out blog.

Today travel to her "No Polar Coordinates" for a chance to receive a Pay It Forward of her lovely art.

I have been graced by friendships because of blogging that otherwise would never have happened. Isn't that how life is?  Friends come into our lives for a reason or a season and some make a bigger difference in our lives than they will ever know.

THREE WORDS

Can you descibe yourself in three words?
A difficult task to be sure.
Are they the same three words that those closest to you would use?

I had a class, quite some time ago, that was intimate because we spent an entire year and
a half together studying and doing practical clinical time. It was early mornings, late nights and
accelerated studies. A stressful time. Many were short on money, going through changes in
relationships, trying to work as well and be a part of family and friends too. Everyday stresses
and more added to a pressure cooker. Not enough hours in the day. Yes, I'm sure most of
 you can relate in some way.
At the end of the year, there was a day where everyone had to describe each other in class in
three words. We had to write them down on paper. No one saw what anyone wrote.
 The next day we were given the words that described us.
A pretty powerful experience. Some surprises and mostly many affirmations.
Overall it was really much more positive than anything.
Think about it. Do you know the same you that others do?

just do it . . .

Sometimes when you take a chance and go outside your box you will discover a whole new you.

Out on a Limb

Sometimes it's good to sit higher and farther out on the limb than your usual comfy place. 
When you look about you'll have the opportunity to see the world and
yourself from a new perspective.

Summer and enjoying life's pleasures

A few suggestions from me for the beginning of our summer season:

Make time for yourself today.
Do something that you love.
Connect with nature.
Be thankful for the blessings you have.
Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone.
Remember to share and your joys will be multiplied.
Try to find humor in your life.
Give love sincerely.
Walk barefoot in the sand or grass.
Extend a smile to those you meet.

Validity of feelings

     There are times when I become sad and melancholy and feel like I have no control over very much in my life. It is at those times that I question if what I am feeling or thinking is accurate and valid, or if I've missed the boat entirely. Maybe I am reading and putting too much into it. . . .  .  (continued)

days, hours, minutes

Right now,  there are not enough hours in the day for me. I want to do it all. I don't understand when people say they are bored. I feel like I am an in a crazy frenzy with so much I want to do, the things I need to do and the whole people, places and more of life.  . . .  I don't want to hurry through any of it, but time is of the essence. Slow deep breath in, slow deep breath out . . .  now, when are the lazy days of summer coming again?

Where does it come from?

AT TIMES I WONDER
where things come from.
I know that we see with our eyes and others see our faces and look into our eyes.

We hear with our ears,
 sometimes the truth and sometimes
 what we want to hear.

We speak with our lips and at times
 we are silent.
Our hearts feel love in both the
giving and receiving.

But I wonder about our thoughts, our minds.
How does information get in and
what keeps it there?
How can it get distorted?
What makes a memory?
In what manner information attach to
thought and reasoning?
How does it decide between love or hate?

Where does the in and out of it happen?
How does this mind of ours work?

I'VE BEEN ROBBED

I din't believe it, it seemed so strange, in fact, I still can't believe it.

I was reading some blogs and doing a little casual blog surfing when to my surprise and HORROR I saw one of my very own posts copied verbatim and several of my photos being used on someone else's blog.

I felt violated, used, and helpless.
Now, I don't mind someone sharing from my blog or even using some of my photos or words, but to take the entire post and photos without asking or acknowledging me first was really in poor taste and quite honestly very hurtful. I was so befumbled after scrolling through their blog that I somehow deleted their blog and now, of course, can't find it again.

Has this happened to you?

Life changes

Someone very close to me lost their longtime mate a few years back.
Quite suddenly. She has been a trooper through it all.  From the diagnosis, to the quickly declining  health, to the death that came way too soon. She played the cards that life gave her. I'm sure she asked why a million times.
 I saw strength of her spirit and faith. She still had family to care for.

She is a young woman with lots of energy and wants to live more of life. I can see a change in her eyes, and a restlessness for new things in her life. She is ready to go out and see what comes her way or travel another road somewhere. She wants to have fun again.

The other night, we shared dinner with her and her "friend". I don't know if this is a romantic link or not. They were very relaxed together. Laughing at personal jokes and being comfortable with the little things that you do when you know someone intimately in an emotional way.  I do know she seemed so much happier. And isn't that just what we want for our friends and loved ones? We want them to be happy. I am still smiling.

House / Home

A house isn't a home, it's not much of anything without love.

Memorial Day

In America, this weekend we celebrate Memorial Day. A holiday that for many announces that summer is almost here. We spend our time over these three days having  BBQ's, outdoor activities of yardwork and play. A time to get together with family and friends. Everyone hoping for warm and sunny weather.

But let us not forget that this is the day we remember. We honor those that gave their lives in war. It matters not that you agree with the war, if we should have fought, or who it was with. That is for another day.
Today it is about them.  It matters . . .  as they gave the greatest sacrifice of all. When you are wondering if someone else is worth your time or your caring, consider what they gave for those that they would never even know. They gave their life for you, for us. We honor them and their families too. How can we ever thank them enough.

Have a time of silence, a prayer and be thankful.

dreams

There were times when I have slept so very deeply and
had such vivid dreams . . . dreams of having wings so
big and strong that I can fly.

Patterns

Everywhere in life there are patterns. Patterns in nature and in the man made. There are patterns to birth, breathing, life and death. Patterns to each and every relationship and the seasons of the year.You  live out many patterns everyday.

When we understand about patterns we can understand life a little more. It begins to make sense and is not as frightening. Patterns can be a source of great comfort and yet give us the urge to break free. Look around you today. Patterns, they are everywhere. In music, in the rising and setting of the sun, in winds. They are in the mountains and oceans, in the trees and animals. They are in us, we are in them.  A pattern to love and to understand. Gaining wisdom and compassion. Finding peace and having faith. Eating and sleeping.

May you discover many patterns in your life today.

creativity from within transfers to another

I don't know what the creator of this sculpture was thinking about when they made it, but it certainly put a smile on my face.

May you find something in your day to smile about.

personal footprints

I'm showing show you a macro close up of a stone I found by the ocean with a twig laying across it so you can see the detail. All living things leave behind a footprint of some kind. Some footprints are short term and others long.
I was fascinated by the perfect little circular designs on this stone. I don't know what it was that left the impressions. It made me think of what kind of impression I am leaving behind. I'm sure that it might depend on who you ask. I would like to think that it's more positve than anything. But I guess one never really knows for sure. I know that some of the funerals or memorials that I have gone to, the person that has passed away would so have enjoyed what others thought and said about them. That's why I try to tell people some of those things now, instead of over their dead body. I wish that more people would be open to hearing and saying things while it means something.

come sit my friend . . .

     
      Ah dear friend . . . come into the garden and sit a bit with me. My senses speak to me of you today. I feel the unsettledness of your being. You have troubles on your mind, a heaviness in your heart and are feeling overwhelmed with life.
      We can have some tea and enjoy the sun from under the shade tree. We can talk or we can just be. Let's gaze at the beautiful  greenery and flowers. Listen to the birds chirping and feel the gentle breeze on our faces. Close our eyes and take in all of nature.
      You are most always welcome to sit here, if I am home or not. You can sit and reflect, mediate or pray. For in the quiet stillness we often hear the best. And if you should want to talk, we will. There are no restrictions on what can transpire here. Because once you are my friend my home is your home. Let this be your safe haven from the chaos of the world.

Beauty and your surroundings

I was getting some exercise on a gorgeous spring day and playing with my camera yesterday. This is an education center (farming, animal and garden) of a college that is open to the public.
These flowers haven't settled into their summer home yet, but they are already beautiful on their own.
People are beautiful too, as they find their home place in life.

The pendulum of a Lock

In life,  we have dreams.
We dream of experiences to come. Things you want to do, need to do.
And yet . . . 
You come across a baracade, a locked gate or door.
This is as far as you get, no opening, no key, no passage.

The question I ask you is . . .
are you locked IN or locked OUT?

What it takes to get through the day

There are times when we grumble about life's everyday hardships. About the many things we have to do to during the day and how much time it all takes. And then we see something that makes us think about what everyday life might have been for those generations that were here before us. More simple perhaps, but lots of effort to do almost anything.
     I just think how long it took them to get anywhere especially without roads of any kind. When we put life in perspective . . . it often helps us appreciate what we have.

love doesn't . . .

Love doesn't have to be perfect

               even so

 it has the power to change ones perspective.

Public emotions

    Have you ever had some overwhelming hardships in your life and been out in public and suddenly lost control of your emotions . . . crying amongst strangers?  Or are you more stoic and no matter what has happened in your life . . . no ones knows because you don't share it and don't want to either?
     Does a stranger's word or touch pierce a hole to the emotional damn? Or does their inquiry cause you to clam up and avoid the issue that's on your mind?
      I had an experience where I was looking for a special card to say what I couldn't find the right words to express. A card that I hoped would be opened and read when my personal attempts to talk, to phone and understand had been refused and ignored.. The exchange started innocently enough. Her asking, "Can I help you?'
     "Just looking for the right card, not too insensitive, not too mushy, but simple, honest and real", I said. And the more she asked ,the more I felt the let down of tears starting on the inside. I was trembling slightly fighting the urge to let the tears flow openly. And then they came, big crocodile tears, no sound, just tears running freely down my face dripping unto my sweater. A bit embarrassed and yet needing an understanding heart at that moment. I couldn't speak. I swallowed hard. She gave me a tissue and a strong sincere hug. It gave me the strength to be able to compose myself and move on.
     And I did get the card. It said just what I wanted it to say. I hope it was taken that way.
     She made adifference to me that day because she honestly cared. I know because I have cared for others when they seemed to have a day like I was having. A word, a hug, a gesture makes all the difference.

to thank someone

I have been around an increasing number of people lately that have been extremely ill, either acutely or chronicaly. All ages, young and old, but mostly in between. And of course seniors in their 70's and even late 80's. There have passed some anniversaries of the deaths of special people in my life.  Death . . . it's something we can't avoid.  We all end up there somehow.

But it may be closer than we know. We all start dying the second we are born.

So why do we as humans waste so much time?
Why do we hold grudges? Why are we hateful? Why do we nurture anger?
And I have to think,  that we, myself included, never say thank you enough. We never say I love you and really mean it enough. We never tell someone that their presence in our lives has made a difference. We need to look into the eyes when we talk, the words need to come from the heart and we need to hug a little longer.  The trival meaningless things are just that. Forget the insignificant negative things in life.

Remember the who, what, when, where and why.  
WHO needs to hear the words I love you ?
WHAT  do I need to do to show them how important they are to me?
WHEN was the last time I really thanked someone for being in my life
WHERE else can I be thankful?
WHY am I waiting another minute?

So today, thank someone, appreciate someone, love someone . . . 
You may not have that chance tomorrow.

I know I have lots of thanking to do.

A tribute to a friend

I had dinner with my friend of about 35 years the other evening. Her husband was out of town on business.So, it ended up being three of us, she was number one, number two was my honey and lastly, number three was myself.

We try to get together every so often. That "often" could be months or weeks. It doesn't matter, we pick up where we left off. We came into each others lives via yet-to-be husbands that were friends/coworkers.
 On her side of the picture, they got married and are still that way. Together, or separate, they are a wonderful couple, good people and lots of fun. On my side, I  married and after many years, divorced. Now am with a man who fits me better than I thought anyone could.
Since it was the three of us, I had more time, it seemed, to really look at her. Oh, I see her and everything, but this one was a quiet, deeper assessment of friendship, time and relationships.
The first time I met her, I was awed and intimidated. She was lovely with beautiful doe eyes, a wonderful smile, a great figure, long dark brown hair. She looked as beautiful, perhaps more, than a famous celebrity at the time.  I was soon taken in by her warm manner, her joy for life and her welcoming ways. We became friends by circumstance and as the saying goes, the rest is history.

After 35 years, we both have had many experiences in life, many of them the same, some very different, and some that we may never know about each other. All I know is that a friendship this long is special and it really doesn't take any work. Because we both get to be ourselves you see. There is mutual respect, a genuine happiness for when good things come either way, a compassion that needs no words. An understanding that life gets hectic, and you can be in someone's thoughts at all times of the day, even if you can't be there in person. A look, a touch, a hug really can be everything. We've had many experiences, both together and separately, pretty much always with support from each other, these include weddings, births of babies, raising children, up north family vacations, ski trips, shopping, hours on the phone, deaths of loved ones, illnesses, divorce, growing pains, tragedies, depression, happiness, endless laughter, more than enough tears and a love that is still growing. It grows because the nurturing and caring have never stopped.

Sitting there at the table, I had a chance to really see her. She had a softness about her. And even though it was the end of a long day, a busy week, and part of a full life . . . I saw a beautiful woman. She was a bit tired, but her eyes still had a spark, her smile relaxed and wide. She was beautiful inside and outside  . . . and sideways and upside down. We are the same age and things have changed for us physically. She and I are a bit heavier than we'd like, the hint of coming wrinkles hiding around the corner, the skin not quite as fresh and dewy, and the passage of youth also means changes in other things, a tagging of the edges of gravity is somewhere closer on the horizon . But the laughter is more genuine, the sincerity deeper. She and I may be different than all those years ago, but she seems almost even more beautiful than ever before. The realization has come that our time on earth can be pretty short. Life teaches you. It teaches patience, hope and understanding. But mostly, it teaches unconditional love.
I hope that we have at least 35 more years to share together . . . I can't wait to see how much more beautiful she becomes.

Lovebirds

     Today, my honey and I were standing in line at a retail store just waiting for one of the cashiers to call the next in line. We had never seen this cashier before, nor her us. After we approached the counter, she asked "How are you two lovebirds doing today?"  We laughed and said that we were blessed to have another day to enjoy and that life was pretty good to us when you put things all things in perspective.
     Now, she's not the only one that has made that remark to us. The lovebirds thing. A restaurant that we go to frequently for breakfast, they will sometimes annouce "the lovebirds are here" when we come in. People comment on how happy we look whether we are together or apart. It is both an honor and wonderful to share mutual love, appreciation and respect with someone.
     It feels good to know that people see that you are happy together. That when you are with the right person in life, it is good.. It's like coming home. You can be yourself and be comfortable.
      We are both (for the most part) positive, upbeat and caring. And we've had enough experience to know life is short, to appreciate what you have and let go of things you can't control.  Live and let live and embrace the good. Put the good into the universe and share with others.
     Have to admit, I like being part of a pair of lovebirds.


(photograph courtesy of wikimedia.org/agaprornis.roseicollis)

Appreciation for a blog

I love to read about how people live their lives, what motivates them and how they find strength from hardships that they have gotten through. I am encouraged by stories of relationships and each person's journey because I learn from them, I am nurtured and see life from another person's perspective.  I realize that no mattter who we are or where we come from, the emotions we have are the same. We can all feel joy, feel sadness, feel alone and feel loved. And we too can give love, give joy, give of ourselves to others.

There are lots of blogs that I skim over and realize that I don't have much in common with, at least with the topics that they write about.  But there are those special blogs that keep me coming back. Like a good book that you can't wait to finish and yet never want it to end. Writers that have made an impact on me and don't even realize how much. People that write about what is going on in their life that I relate to now, or takes me back to another time, or gives me hope for the future. Blogs that support others that are going through a hard time, or encouragement when it's needed. And congratulations for accomplishments. These are strangers that become friends, because we are more alike than we are different.

 I really appreciate the blogs that have a sense of humor. Laughter makes the day a little lighter and lifts our spirits even when we don't realize how much we need to laugh that day. I would not have thought that so many bloggers, by writing a few words or posting a picture could touch my heart, and inspire me so much. I am brought to deep places in my heart, and exposed to new ways of thinking.

 So this springtime, when we see new life and possiblities all around us, I want to say thank you to each and every blogger for giving something of yourself. I for one, really appreciate you.

Rough waters

There are times in my life when I feel like I am sailing along quite nicely. The winds of being a good and happy person fill my sails and the sun of life's blessings shine ever so brightly upon me. I have much to be grateful for and am ordinarily a pretty optimistic person.

 I come in contact with others on their own courses through life that inspire me, awe me, and touch me in some way. I look to them as someone to learn from and someone to care about and grow with.

I always thought that as you grew older, with life experiences, you became stronger and a bit hardened to life's blows. That you started to care less. And why I thought this  . . .  I have absolutely NO IDEA. It's not about caring less, but letting each person grow and travel their own seas without criticism or judgement.

 I don't seem to take things as personal now or feel it's all about me and my perspective (that is what we do when we are young, isn't it? Life only exists in how it pertains to me). But I find that everything affects me personally. If that makes any sense to you. I can feel another's pain when they hurt, I celebrate in their joys and feel just as happy when life is good for them. I am excited for their growth and am smiling when someone finds true love. I have learned that we all must live and learn our own lessons in our own time. In my own journey, my winds and waters are not like yours, our skills are unique to each one of us, no matter if we travel the same path or not.

And as it is springtime, right now . . .  I have found some ice still floating in my waters, the wind is strong and a bit colder than I would like, the skies can loom heavy and frightful as night approaches. There are other boats out here with me on their own journey. And yet we all  hope and know that nothing is forever. Change comes to us that are strong, have faith and are concious of where we are going or want to go.  It is inevitable, for change will come, for those that want it to and also to those that don't want it.

Today, my heart is a bit heavy and the seas are choppy. I could get sick to my stomach, but I will keep my eyes on the horizon and work hard to steer through the course.

With the morning sun will come another day of possibilities and another day of a chance for heaven on earth. If smooth seas and balmy breezes come not tomorrow, then there will be the possibility that it will come the next day, and the next . . .

the Simplicity of Etiquette

     When is the last time you thought about the simple courtesy of etiquette?

     What is etiquette?  It's showing respect for yourself and others. Good manners are indispensable in society and in business. Etiquette and good manners are apprecitated and cost nothing.

     Why is it that when someone calls you on the phone they hardly ever ask if it's a good time for you or if you even have the time to talk? Of course, I am embarassed to say that I have been guilty of this myself, many times.
     In the last few weeks I have had several calls that were either intensely personal,  business related or lengthy in detail that required my undivided attention and privacy to talk. In two of these calls I had to make an important decision. I don't do that. I find decisions  (unless emergency in nature) that are made on impulse have never been the wisest.  Not at one time did any of the callers ask if I was busy. The business calls assumed that I had been waiting with phone in hand and the computer in front of me along with paper and pen. And in a few of the calls I did let them talk for a while and then ask if I could return the call another time. I also asked what times might be best for them. Such simple courtesy. Nothing hard about it. The hard part is to actually do it.
     I have been amazed at the lack of courtesy in the world lately. Is it true or am I getting older and crotchety? We are all in a hurry, over stressed, underpaid, under appreciated and even overwhelmed. It's exactly at times like this that the simplest of things are appreciated and welcome.
   This month I will be more attentive to being courteous, polite, considerate and thoughtful. That goes for strangers and friends. I hope it becomes more of a natural habit than something I actually have to think about doing.
    Oh . . . I should have asked you if you have time to read my lengthy post, if not please come back when you do have more time. I'd love to have you visit.

on a dreary cold day

I first thought I would just post a pretty photo to make me think of something besides how cold and windy and dreary it is outside today, this in the middle of April.

I was initially drawn in by the multicolor prisms of the perfume bottle. This is not unlike the personality of people we meet. On closer observation and interest there are so many more facets to a person than what we first can even imagine. Take the time to really get to know someone, even those that you think you already know. There is always more to discover, more to share.

 And let your own prisms show to those that you encounter. After all, the best of us is hidden in the insides.

Perfection

                   
    If life were perfect . . . . we wouldn't have any interesting stories to tell.

First thoughts and symbols

When you see a swan in almost any setting, certain thoughts will usually come to mind. The swan has long been a symbol of elegance, calm and beauty.
What comes to mind with thoughts of you?

It is . . . .

It is the very simplest of things that bring us comfort, pleasure and serenity.

tea time and reflections

Whew . . . I'm sitting down for a cup of tea, putting my feet up and I'd enjoy your company for a while.

I've been on the road  for a few weeks working on adding to my photography inventory and getting inspirations for paintings, along with some R&R.

But I've been a bit under the weather. A change in medications, local temperatures, eating on the road and not getting enough rest. A close encounter with not one, but two tornadoes. (And always the thought of bedbugs, can't seem to go to a hotel without checking that part out.) 

 As I get older I find that traveling can take it's toll and it is important to pace oneself. I think I can when it has become clear that I cannot, certainly not like I did before. This is when I admire the energy of youth and the innocent hearts that forge into new adventures. I have done some entertaining and gone many miles.

I've also turned another year older this week and reflected on my life, where I've come from, mistakes I've made, strengths I've aquired, goals I've reached, what I've learned, what makes me happy and where and how do I go from here. There are mistakes that were obvious in my early adulthood, but I refused to pay attention, thinking I could make a difference, I could be the change that mattered. And I did learn . . .  that I have to be myself, that I cannot make myself into what others expect from me. And that I am in control of only myself. Those are really hard lessons to learn.

I have  been missing my twin brother as he passed away 2 years ago now. And there is no end to how often I think of my parents, both gone now  . . . for I can't believe how many years already. Right now my relationship with my children has growing to do. Lots of it. I have tried to give them their space, but sometimes I know we have to drift apart so that we desire to be together. There are things  they don't understand and even though they are young adults,  their life expereinces so far has not been realized by them yet. I am sad for what we haven't been able to share, but one day they will understand life differently as I too learned. It will be an intense learning situation, but they have to see it from their own eyes and hearts. I hope and pray for that time. I too am growing and learning patience, and tolerance for the fact that sometimes things just don't go how we'd like them too. And in the process learning to accept the finite of the human body and how short of time we have to share.

The truth finds it's way, in it's own time and we can't hurry it, for it would not be realized. There is so much joy to share and love to give, but there has to be a willingness. My heart is open, but it has some pretty big bruises.

So please try to open your heart a bit more, be a little kinder, give a hug, give love and  let love into your heart. It feels so good. There is room.

welcoming and creating serenity

When the outside world feels heavy and formidable,
 I feel many of my own actions seem  insignificant in relation to
the enormity of  the issues or attempts to be helpful enough,
it is then that I look to bring serenity and lightness to my world.
 This project is something that I have been working on,
 the camera only captured part of it as it's quite large.

for tomorrow . . .

I don't know the history of this vase. It belonged to my mother and I have always loved it. I still love it everytime I look at it.  The birds and flowers remind me of the delicate beauty of Japan. And in honor of all the hardships that the Japanese are going through, this is a reminder to me that with faith and perseverance somehow tomorrow comes. For the people of Japan and those that love and care for them . . . May there be happiness and beauty in their tomorrows.

You . . .

                                                          Important things are simple.

sharing a moment

With everything that is going on in the world right now . . .
I share with you a moment of
 serenity and hope.

A paying it forward - thanks

Paying it forward . . .


      in today's mail I received a lovely  envelope with a surprise in it from my friend and fellow blogger Lori Anderson at PRETTYTHINGSBLOG.com.
     It makes me happy to get something in the mail that isn't a bill, advertisment or junk mail. Not too often do we get fun mail. Personal snail mail is becoming rare.
     I remember as a child, my uncle used to write letters to me, of everyday simple things. Just getting the envelope addressed to me made me happy and feel special.
     Lori's envelope took me back to that time. Thank you Lori. Won't you stop by and visit her at her blog, she really does have pretty things to show you and kind words to share as well.


In honor of paying it forward . . . if you send your name and address (no matter where in the world you live) to my email (check my profile page, it's there), I'll be sending out a few Paying it forwards myself . . . maybe one to you. Won't you consider sending someone a snail mail, think of how much you appreciate it.

A story worth repeating . . .

Now,  I'll be honest . . . that's the best way to be anyway isn't it? 
 I didn't write this next little story, and the site I borrowed this from says that they didn't write it either . . . so I'm not sure who to give credit to.  But I really liked it and wanted to share it with you.

     Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge and all the others, including Love.
One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed.

     She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the very last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under water, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.
Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, Richness, “Can I come with you on your boat?”
Richness answered, “I am sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere.”
Love decided to ask Vanity, who was passing by in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, “Vanity, help me please!” “I can’t help you,” Vanity said, “You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat.”
Next Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, “Sadness please let me go with you.” Sadness answered, “Love, I'm sorry, but I just need to be alone now.”
Then, Love saw Happiness and cried out, “Happiness, please take me with you.” But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling him.

     Love began to cry, then she heard a voice say, “Come love, I will take you with me.” It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way.
Love realized how much she owed the elder and when she met Knowledge she asked, “Who was that who helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered. “But why did Time help me when no one else would?,” Love asked.
Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
“Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”

I've got your back

It feels good to know that someone is in your corner and believes in you.

Favorite words from an Author

We all have words written by someone that have moved us or inspired us in some way. I have so many, but one of my favorite's is by Rainer Marie Rilke - 1903.  This is a portion of one of his letters [number 4] to a young poet). You'll find it under the photo. Won't you share some words that have moved you?

by Rainer Marie Rilke - 1903   

  . . . . . . If you trust in Nature, in what is simple in Nature, in the small Things that hardly anyone sees and that can so suddenly become huge, immeasurable; if you have this love for what is humble and try very simply, as someone who serves, to win the confidence of what seems poor: then everything will become easier for you, more coherent and somehow more reconciling, not in your conscious mind perhaps, which stays behind, astonished, but in your innermost awareness, awakeness, and knowledge. You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. . . . .

How to keep our most precious things

When we have something precious in our lives we tend to want to keep it.
We look for a special or pretty container to keep it in.
The truth is though, that the most precious of things cannot be kept or contained.
They must be shared.
 Love.  Faith.  Charity. 
Three of the most precious of life's offerings that when kept locked up will wither and die.

Can a crab be happy?

Being silly sometimes is important too.

What is home?

What is home to you?
      I lived in Florida for a few months last winter. There was a woman I would see every day. This was her home.
      It was in a small sheltered area behind a restaurant, small stores and rental complex off a parking lot.
     At first I thought it was a place for trash and overflow of things that might be in a garage or carport.  The area is strict with keeping the homeless away from local residents, the working public and tourists. I would watch them, mostly they were polite and kind and asked them to move on. Private property rules and laws they said. But twice I saw someone being rude with that sense of privleged arrogance that went with it.
     She kept her clothes in one of the big green trash containers in plastic bags. Her food 'pantry' was the smaller of the green containers. She said she could seal it tightly to keep the animals from stealing her food. She got up early, washed up from an old large water bottle that she had filled up the night before from a public restroom. Her head was usually wrapped up in a colorful scarf. Her shoes though, were worn and dusty.  She arranged all her belongings neatly and either walked or rode the bicyle. This was how it looked all day. Late at night, after dark, she spread it around using card board sheets as her mattress. An old blanket from the green container. Quiet as a church mouse. She was clean, friendly. Always had a smile for me. Beautiful even with a few missing teeth. I thought she had an occassional odd job around town, but I wasn't sure.
       When the weather was rainy or unseasonably cold she took shelter in a local homeless center for the night. I would see her around town and she would nod in acknowledge. She walked tall with confidence. Sometimes she had a plastic bag that was filled with bumpy looking things. I don't know what she had in there or what she did with it. She kept to herself. She was polite and soft spoken when talked to.
I would watch her often. She knew I watched her. I don't think she was concerned about me exposing her home to anyone that would make her leave. I wanted to ask her questions, to offer her something. How did she come to this and what did she need or want. I was intrigued by her, by the life she lead and by her demeanor.
     I decided that I would offer her a meal or money to get something she needed. I didn't want to disrespect her by prying. And in the offering, we chatted. She had been living this way fro quite some time. There was no more information as to how it all came about.  I knew it was her private life to share if she wanted to. She told me she was going to see her daughter soon, in a few days. That she had been saving money for a plane ticket for quite some time and she was excited to go. But she also said that she also looked forward to coming back home again.
     That was when I understood that home really is where your heart and spirit are.

Write RIGHT Now

           That's right, write it NOW.
           In this month's Elle magazine, Joyce Carol Oates is interviewed in  part about her book  'A Widow's Story'. It'strue and based on her husband of over forty years getting  pneumonia, going to the hospital and in one week, getting an infection and dying.
       This experience is intensely violent to one's emotions and changes in life. It made me think of my own life and how your world can become completely overturned in a short time without notice.    
      Ms. Oates recalls  she had to write it as she was going through it.. To write and feel the words in the months of widowhood immediatley after his death.

     With happenings in my own life, I have often said, someday I will write about it.
     But in truth, the waiting can change the intensity and perspective of  feeling. Feelings might calm, understanding and acceptance might come, but too, anger or pain can also fester and grow.

     When we wait to tell a story, the story itself often changes.  Tell a story in a circle, whisper a few sentences in an ear and telling them to pass it on to the next person. By the time it comes back to you, part of the story is different by each teller and interpretation.  Our own personal stories change as we journey through the road of life.
     So write that story today, right now, when all the feelings are vivid and strong and want to be heard.. If it calls to you . . . write it again later on and see how the orchestra of life has given it a different rhythm.

From . . . .

From the    UNFORGIVING  . . . .
I have learned the joy of  FORGIVENESS.

From the    HATEFUL . . . 
I have learned the depth of LOVE.

From the    IMPATIENT . . . 
I have learned the serenity of PATIENCE.

From the    CLOSE-MINDED . . .
I have learned the value of OPEN-MINDEDNESS.

From the    NON-BELIEVER  . . .  
I have learned the POWER of TRUTH.