Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Public emotions

    Have you ever had some overwhelming hardships in your life and been out in public and suddenly lost control of your emotions . . . crying amongst strangers?  Or are you more stoic and no matter what has happened in your life . . . no ones knows because you don't share it and don't want to either?
     Does a stranger's word or touch pierce a hole to the emotional damn? Or does their inquiry cause you to clam up and avoid the issue that's on your mind?
      I had an experience where I was looking for a special card to say what I couldn't find the right words to express. A card that I hoped would be opened and read when my personal attempts to talk, to phone and understand had been refused and ignored.. The exchange started innocently enough. Her asking, "Can I help you?'
     "Just looking for the right card, not too insensitive, not too mushy, but simple, honest and real", I said. And the more she asked ,the more I felt the let down of tears starting on the inside. I was trembling slightly fighting the urge to let the tears flow openly. And then they came, big crocodile tears, no sound, just tears running freely down my face dripping unto my sweater. A bit embarrassed and yet needing an understanding heart at that moment. I couldn't speak. I swallowed hard. She gave me a tissue and a strong sincere hug. It gave me the strength to be able to compose myself and move on.
     And I did get the card. It said just what I wanted it to say. I hope it was taken that way.
     She made adifference to me that day because she honestly cared. I know because I have cared for others when they seemed to have a day like I was having. A word, a hug, a gesture makes all the difference.