Thursday, September 22, 2011
I've been really busy lately and have a full plate. Most of it is really quite good if I put forth my best efforts into my projects. But I am human and have a knack for procrastinating, of which I am not always proud of. It's as if I have a full tank as I'm getting on the road for a fun trip and in my exuberance I realize that suddenly my fuel tank is close to empty and I don't know what direction the next gas station is at. And in the regrouping, I have lost some of the momentum for the trip because I also sense I am needing to take time out to eat, sleep and better understand my journey.
I have always admired those that can visualize the big picture better than I can. It is a continuous learning procecss for me. That, with the added realization that I am slowing down a bit because of the natural aging process and some health concerns have left me questioning my skills of time management. In the last few months I have felt pangs of anxiety in my list of things I am working on, things I need to devote more time too, stuff I want to do more of, some needed down times and everyday life in general. I sense that perhaps I am not always making the best use of my time. I'm not the first person that feels this way and far from the last. One thing for sure, I am NOT bored.
So today, I will waste a little time, feel overwhelmed, make 'todays' list, review my 'still to do' list, daydream, get in the shower, count my blessings and get back on the road with a full tank. I may not be sure where the next refueling station is, but I have an extra gallon of fuel with me, a blanket with bread, wine and cheese to stop and enjoy the scenery, a camera to capture it to memory and the joy of taking someone with me and making friends along the way. How wonderful life is that I have taken a step back to realize my endless opportunities and that I can accomplish much in each step along the way. I really don't think I want to ever reach a permanent "goal", I think I am much happier exploring the endless goal posts down the road of my life and just keep moving along at the pace that's right for me.