Friday, April 29, 2011

to thank someone

I have been around an increasing number of people lately that have been extremely ill, either acutely or chronicaly. All ages, young and old, but mostly in between. And of course seniors in their 70's and even late 80's. There have passed some anniversaries of the deaths of special people in my life.  Death . . . it's something we can't avoid.  We all end up there somehow.

But it may be closer than we know. We all start dying the second we are born.

So why do we as humans waste so much time?
Why do we hold grudges? Why are we hateful? Why do we nurture anger?
And I have to think,  that we, myself included, never say thank you enough. We never say I love you and really mean it enough. We never tell someone that their presence in our lives has made a difference. We need to look into the eyes when we talk, the words need to come from the heart and we need to hug a little longer.  The trival meaningless things are just that. Forget the insignificant negative things in life.

Remember the who, what, when, where and why.  
WHO needs to hear the words I love you ?
WHAT  do I need to do to show them how important they are to me?
WHEN was the last time I really thanked someone for being in my life
WHERE else can I be thankful?
WHY am I waiting another minute?

So today, thank someone, appreciate someone, love someone . . . 
You may not have that chance tomorrow.

I know I have lots of thanking to do.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

A tribute to a friend

I had dinner with my friend of about 35 years the other evening. Her husband was out of town on business.So, it ended up being three of us, she was number one, number two was my honey and lastly, number three was myself.

We try to get together every so often. That "often" could be months or weeks. It doesn't matter, we pick up where we left off. We came into each others lives via yet-to-be husbands that were friends/coworkers.
 On her side of the picture, they got married and are still that way. Together, or separate, they are a wonderful couple, good people and lots of fun. On my side, I  married and after many years, divorced. Now am with a man who fits me better than I thought anyone could.
Since it was the three of us, I had more time, it seemed, to really look at her. Oh, I see her and everything, but this one was a quiet, deeper assessment of friendship, time and relationships.
The first time I met her, I was awed and intimidated. She was lovely with beautiful doe eyes, a wonderful smile, a great figure, long dark brown hair. She looked as beautiful, perhaps more, than a famous celebrity at the time.  I was soon taken in by her warm manner, her joy for life and her welcoming ways. We became friends by circumstance and as the saying goes, the rest is history.

After 35 years, we both have had many experiences in life, many of them the same, some very different, and some that we may never know about each other. All I know is that a friendship this long is special and it really doesn't take any work. Because we both get to be ourselves you see. There is mutual respect, a genuine happiness for when good things come either way, a compassion that needs no words. An understanding that life gets hectic, and you can be in someone's thoughts at all times of the day, even if you can't be there in person. A look, a touch, a hug really can be everything. We've had many experiences, both together and separately, pretty much always with support from each other, these include weddings, births of babies, raising children, up north family vacations, ski trips, shopping, hours on the phone, deaths of loved ones, illnesses, divorce, growing pains, tragedies, depression, happiness, endless laughter, more than enough tears and a love that is still growing. It grows because the nurturing and caring have never stopped.

Sitting there at the table, I had a chance to really see her. She had a softness about her. And even though it was the end of a long day, a busy week, and part of a full life . . . I saw a beautiful woman. She was a bit tired, but her eyes still had a spark, her smile relaxed and wide. She was beautiful inside and outside  . . . and sideways and upside down. We are the same age and things have changed for us physically. She and I are a bit heavier than we'd like, the hint of coming wrinkles hiding around the corner, the skin not quite as fresh and dewy, and the passage of youth also means changes in other things, a tagging of the edges of gravity is somewhere closer on the horizon . But the laughter is more genuine, the sincerity deeper. She and I may be different than all those years ago, but she seems almost even more beautiful than ever before. The realization has come that our time on earth can be pretty short. Life teaches you. It teaches patience, hope and understanding. But mostly, it teaches unconditional love.
I hope that we have at least 35 more years to share together . . . I can't wait to see how much more beautiful she becomes.

Monday, April 25, 2011


     Today, my honey and I were standing in line at a retail store just waiting for one of the cashiers to call the next in line. We had never seen this cashier before, nor her us. After we approached the counter, she asked "How are you two lovebirds doing today?"  We laughed and said that we were blessed to have another day to enjoy and that life was pretty good to us when you put things all things in perspective.
     Now, she's not the only one that has made that remark to us. The lovebirds thing. A restaurant that we go to frequently for breakfast, they will sometimes annouce "the lovebirds are here" when we come in. People comment on how happy we look whether we are together or apart. It is both an honor and wonderful to share mutual love, appreciation and respect with someone.
     It feels good to know that people see that you are happy together. That when you are with the right person in life, it is good.. It's like coming home. You can be yourself and be comfortable.
      We are both (for the most part) positive, upbeat and caring. And we've had enough experience to know life is short, to appreciate what you have and let go of things you can't control.  Live and let live and embrace the good. Put the good into the universe and share with others.
     Have to admit, I like being part of a pair of lovebirds.

(photograph courtesy of

Friday, April 22, 2011

Appreciation for a blog

I love to read about how people live their lives, what motivates them and how they find strength from hardships that they have gotten through. I am encouraged by stories of relationships and each person's journey because I learn from them, I am nurtured and see life from another person's perspective.  I realize that no mattter who we are or where we come from, the emotions we have are the same. We can all feel joy, feel sadness, feel alone and feel loved. And we too can give love, give joy, give of ourselves to others.

There are lots of blogs that I skim over and realize that I don't have much in common with, at least with the topics that they write about.  But there are those special blogs that keep me coming back. Like a good book that you can't wait to finish and yet never want it to end. Writers that have made an impact on me and don't even realize how much. People that write about what is going on in their life that I relate to now, or takes me back to another time, or gives me hope for the future. Blogs that support others that are going through a hard time, or encouragement when it's needed. And congratulations for accomplishments. These are strangers that become friends, because we are more alike than we are different.

 I really appreciate the blogs that have a sense of humor. Laughter makes the day a little lighter and lifts our spirits even when we don't realize how much we need to laugh that day. I would not have thought that so many bloggers, by writing a few words or posting a picture could touch my heart, and inspire me so much. I am brought to deep places in my heart, and exposed to new ways of thinking.

 So this springtime, when we see new life and possiblities all around us, I want to say thank you to each and every blogger for giving something of yourself. I for one, really appreciate you.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Rough waters

There are times in my life when I feel like I am sailing along quite nicely. The winds of being a good and happy person fill my sails and the sun of life's blessings shine ever so brightly upon me. I have much to be grateful for and am ordinarily a pretty optimistic person.

 I come in contact with others on their own courses through life that inspire me, awe me, and touch me in some way. I look to them as someone to learn from and someone to care about and grow with.

I always thought that as you grew older, with life experiences, you became stronger and a bit hardened to life's blows. That you started to care less. And why I thought this  . . .  I have absolutely NO IDEA. It's not about caring less, but letting each person grow and travel their own seas without criticism or judgement.

 I don't seem to take things as personal now or feel it's all about me and my perspective (that is what we do when we are young, isn't it? Life only exists in how it pertains to me). But I find that everything affects me personally. If that makes any sense to you. I can feel another's pain when they hurt, I celebrate in their joys and feel just as happy when life is good for them. I am excited for their growth and am smiling when someone finds true love. I have learned that we all must live and learn our own lessons in our own time. In my own journey, my winds and waters are not like yours, our skills are unique to each one of us, no matter if we travel the same path or not.

And as it is springtime, right now . . .  I have found some ice still floating in my waters, the wind is strong and a bit colder than I would like, the skies can loom heavy and frightful as night approaches. There are other boats out here with me on their own journey. And yet we all  hope and know that nothing is forever. Change comes to us that are strong, have faith and are concious of where we are going or want to go.  It is inevitable, for change will come, for those that want it to and also to those that don't want it.

Today, my heart is a bit heavy and the seas are choppy. I could get sick to my stomach, but I will keep my eyes on the horizon and work hard to steer through the course.

With the morning sun will come another day of possibilities and another day of a chance for heaven on earth. If smooth seas and balmy breezes come not tomorrow, then there will be the possibility that it will come the next day, and the next . . .

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

the Simplicity of Etiquette

     When is the last time you thought about the simple courtesy of etiquette?

     What is etiquette?  It's showing respect for yourself and others. Good manners are indispensable in society and in business. Etiquette and good manners are apprecitated and cost nothing.

     Why is it that when someone calls you on the phone they hardly ever ask if it's a good time for you or if you even have the time to talk? Of course, I am embarassed to say that I have been guilty of this myself, many times.
     In the last few weeks I have had several calls that were either intensely personal,  business related or lengthy in detail that required my undivided attention and privacy to talk. In two of these calls I had to make an important decision. I don't do that. I find decisions  (unless emergency in nature) that are made on impulse have never been the wisest.  Not at one time did any of the callers ask if I was busy. The business calls assumed that I had been waiting with phone in hand and the computer in front of me along with paper and pen. And in a few of the calls I did let them talk for a while and then ask if I could return the call another time. I also asked what times might be best for them. Such simple courtesy. Nothing hard about it. The hard part is to actually do it.
     I have been amazed at the lack of courtesy in the world lately. Is it true or am I getting older and crotchety? We are all in a hurry, over stressed, underpaid, under appreciated and even overwhelmed. It's exactly at times like this that the simplest of things are appreciated and welcome.
   This month I will be more attentive to being courteous, polite, considerate and thoughtful. That goes for strangers and friends. I hope it becomes more of a natural habit than something I actually have to think about doing.
    Oh . . . I should have asked you if you have time to read my lengthy post, if not please come back when you do have more time. I'd love to have you visit.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

on a dreary cold day

I first thought I would just post a pretty photo to make me think of something besides how cold and windy and dreary it is outside today, this in the middle of April.
I was initially drawn in by the multicolor prisms of the perfume bottle. This is not unlike the personality of people we meet. On closer observation and interest there are so many more facets to a person than what we first can even imagine. Take the time to really get to know someone, even those that you think you already know. There is always more to discover, more to share.
 And let your own prisms show to those that you encounter. After all, the best of us is hidden in the insides.


    If life were perfect . . . . we wouldn't have any interesting stories to tell.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

First thoughts and symbols

When you see a swan in almost any setting, certain thoughts will usually come to mind. The swan has long been a symbol of elegance, calm and beauty.
What comes to mind with thoughts of you?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

It is . . . .

It is the very simplest of things that bring us comfort, pleasure and serenity.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

tea time and reflections

Whew . . . I'm sitting down for a cup of tea, putting my feet up and I'd enjoy your company for a while.

I've been on the road  for a few weeks working on adding to my photography inventory and getting inspirations for paintings, along with some R&R.
But I've been a bit under the weather. A change in medications, local temperatures, eating on the road and not getting enough rest. A close encounter with not one, but two tornadoes. (And always the thought of bedbugs, can't seem to go to a hotel without checking that part out.) 
 As I get older I find that traveling can take it's toll and it is important to pace oneself. I think I can when it has become clear that I cannot, certainly not like I did before. This is when I admire the energy of youth and the innocent hearts that forge into new adventures. I have done some entertaining and gone many miles.

I've also turned another year older this week and reflected on my life, where I've come from, mistakes I've made, strengths I've aquired, goals I've reached, what I've learned, what makes me happy and where and how do I go from here. There are mistakes that were obvious in my early adulthood, but I refused to pay attention, thinking I could make a difference, I could be the change that mattered. And I did learn . . .  that I have to be myself, that I cannot make myself into what others expect from me. And that I am in control of only myself. Those are really hard lessons to learn.
I have  been missing my twin brother as he passed away 2 years ago now. And there is no end to how often I think of my parents, both gone now  . . . for I can't believe how many years already. Right now my relationship with my children has growing to do. Lots of it. I have tried to give them their space, but sometimes I know we have to drift apart so that we desire to be together. There are things  they don't understand and even though they are young adults,  their life expereinces so far has not been realized by them yet. I am sad for what we haven't been able to share, but one day they will understand life differently as I too learned. It will be an intense learning situation, but they have to see it from their own eyes and hearts. I hope and pray for that time. I too am growing and learning patience, and tolerance for the fact that sometimes things just don't go how we'd like them too. And in the process learning to accept the finite of the human body and how short of time we have to share.
The truth finds it's way, in it's own time and we can't hurry it, for it would not be realized. There is so much joy to share and love to give, but there has to be a willingness. My heart is open, but it has some pretty big bruises.
So please try to open your heart a bit more, be a little kinder, give a hug, give love and  let love into your heart. It feels so good. There is room.