The day AFTER Thanksgiving Day

This is the day AFTER Thanksgiving. Of course I ate too much, reminisced about the past, missed people no longer with us, cried a few tears in their memory, joyed at the prospect of new tomorrows, smiled at the constant changes that happen in our lives, and listened, talked and laughed.

All day yesterday I was thinking about what the day really means, listening to people and what they give thanks for out loud. It was really the simplest of things that were mentioned again and again and seemed the most important. Good health, friends, family, enough food to eat, a roof over their heads, a job, a sense of humor, faith, laughter. And almost everyone finished their thoughts with . . . "I am really so blessed already".

I have to agree. But I want to add something else. I am so very thankful to see that HOPE stills lives on and that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE somehow prevails and is strong enough to make everything better.

words that tear at your heart

I went to a funeral recently, this was a friend of mine, but even more so, he was a lifelong friend of my S.O.
Lifetime friends. We don't get to have many of those. 
My S.O. has been keeping up with him for years and was able to be with him when he passed away.
After his death, we called our condolences by phone, and had stopped by the house.

But here at the funeral home things are sometimes so real, so intense.  Death seems to take up so very much room often taking up all the air around us.
I was giving condolences to our friend (the widow) and hugging her, both of us had tears streaming down our cheeks. She hugged me back so very fiercely and desperately saying, " I don't know what I am going to do without him. He was my world, he was my everything".

We become changed after every death in our lives. As we will change the lives of others upon our death.
Give an extra hug today. Say words with meaning. Forgive a little bit more.  Love the person as much as you can. It is a privilege to have someone to love you and for you to have someone to love.

love doesn't . . .

Love doesn't have to be perfect

               even so

 it has the power to change ones perspective.

A story worth repeating . . .

Now,  I'll be honest . . . that's the best way to be anyway isn't it? 
 I didn't write this next little story, and the site I borrowed this from says that they didn't write it either . . . so I'm not sure who to give credit to.  But I really liked it and wanted to share it with you.

     Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge and all the others, including Love.
One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed.

     She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the very last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under water, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.
Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, Richness, “Can I come with you on your boat?”
Richness answered, “I am sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere.”
Love decided to ask Vanity, who was passing by in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, “Vanity, help me please!” “I can’t help you,” Vanity said, “You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat.”
Next Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, “Sadness please let me go with you.” Sadness answered, “Love, I'm sorry, but I just need to be alone now.”
Then, Love saw Happiness and cried out, “Happiness, please take me with you.” But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling him.

     Love began to cry, then she heard a voice say, “Come love, I will take you with me.” It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way.
Love realized how much she owed the elder and when she met Knowledge she asked, “Who was that who helped me?”
“It was Time,” Knowledge answered. “But why did Time help me when no one else would?,” Love asked.
Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered,
“Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”

Circle the DATE to Express your LOVE

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	In  honor of  ST. VALENTINE'S DAY,  although January has already passed   . . . you still have all these days this year to tell someone you love them.  Don't waste them

(calendars.vertix.4u)

Love is . . .

LOVE is . . . when being together feels like HOME.

The thing about Unconditional Love

When you believe and understand the depth and definition of true unconditionality in love . .  
 
that the unconditionality of it is what makes that love the most real of all loves . . .
 It is then you know you want for them whatever they need and desire to complete their happiness . .

even if it doesn't ever include you. 

falling out of nowhere

     I was cleaning out a stack of papers this week and found a 2x2 inch old photo of my mom and dad on the day they were married.
      I don't know why it was there amongst old reciepts and old warrantys.
      I stopped and looked at their faces for a long time. It's in black and white and a head shot, stopping just below the collarbone. They look really happy together with their heads leaning in towards each other and touching at the temples. It was right after the war, with both of them looking thin. She had on a "shared" bridal gown and he had on a borrowed suit. On just for pictures, to be handed to the next couple in line along with the cascading white bouquet of flowers. What was theirs was minimal. Simple thin gold wedding bands. The white, rounded toe, high heeled shoes she wore were hers and the white gloves in his hand were his. You can't seem them in this photo, but it is in another picture I have. No money for any extras, or fancy bridal parties and frills. Only love and hope for a better life. A chance to laugh again and to celebrate life while in love. At the end of their 50 years together, their relationship was nothing of the romantic sentimental kind that movies are made of. They had grown apart many years ago, with a strain and impatience where nurturing and affection used to be. They were ill, tired. But still there was something between them. An understanding of all that they had been through and that even though their relationship had changed, there once was a passion and love that had brought them together.
      That is the way I want to remember them. I know they had happiness before I was even born that I will never know of, as others don't know of happy moments of ours. Some things are just not talked about. They just were. We don't always  understand love, or what brings people together or what pushes them apart. Love cannot be contained and frozen in time . It is forever growing, giving, evolving. But it's the fact that it was there at all that makes me smile.

A Visitor

     There are some experiences in life that remain intensely real for a long time in your life. Memories that we tuck away, that come out when you don't expect them.
     I remember when my father had been diagnosed with lung cancer. Earlier that week, he had had his first of only a few chemo treatments before they decided it was to no avail. Keep him as comfortable as we can they said.
      His illness was rapid in it's progression and hostile in it's take over. I used to make the 45 minute one way trip to my parents house almost daily trying to take care of both of them with very differing health and the emotional issues that go with it. (mother had dementia and multiple strokes.) The doctors appointments, the cleaning, the bathing, the laundry, the meals, medications, therapy,  phone calls and back up support for when I wasn't there. And then turn around, go back home to take care of family , although the children were older and more self sufficient, but still needing attention and nurturing. And as life goes, other concerns consumed me there as well.
     It seemed that no matter where I was, I felt I should be at the other place.

All kinds of LOVE

There are all kinds of love.

The "I've loved you for a long time and we've shared a lot together" love makes your heart feel full and your lips turn up in a smile.

He stole my heart

     He stole my heart. I think it was the baby blues that seduced me first. We met as strangers on a stairway in the late evening some time ago. I was on an extended trip, leasing a darling little condo on an island. He came by one night, watching me and keeping a safe distance. He was coy and had an engaging personality, a seasoned flirt. His voice teasing me with his repetitive meowing.

     The next night he was back,

This is how it is . . .

Hot summer night

lying in bed all sticky

want to make love

but the heat won't let me

the touch of our bodies

all sticky and wet

No sex tonight

this is as close as we'll get.

Love is . . .

Love is hope.

Love is patience.

Love is now.

Love is understanding.

Love is eternal.

Love is laughter.

Love is tenderness.

Giving up on Love

       LOVE. We like saying it, hearing it. But it is a word with all sorts of connotations, imagingings, illusions, fantasys, hopes, dreams and interpretations.
     When someone gives up on love, what makes them open up to love again? When a person dismisses another by perceived information, does it really matter if they know the truth? Afterall, doesn't that mean that it really was over already?
     If you really love someone, you never want it to be over, you want to fix things, understand things, believe, trust, and love more and better than you loved before, don't you? This is the same for romantic love as it is for any love.
      Sometimes though, people have to have more life experiences to understand love. You have to accept that you didn't know love at all before. You have to have the desire to love.
     I wish for newfound love for those, especially the ones that have come to misinterpreted conclusions from others, who will one day, know the truth and be open to the love that has been there for them.

     When you say you love someone, say it with all your heart and really mean the words you say.

Don't put Christmas away

Christmas is past for this year. Some of us have already put away the decorations, the tree, eaten the cookies and gathered the cards. We've disposed of wrapping paper, used and shared gifts, given thanks and are thinking of a new year, perhaps making resolutions. Some will be doing these things in the days to come. We also put away our yearly traditions, yearly hopes and dreams, that somehow come alive only at the holiday season. The need to give, to try to be more understanding, to love not for love's sake, but because we love so much that it is an unconditional love. Sometimes after Christmas it seems like these words and intentions

The Emotions of Honor

I have to ready myself for this ride. I think about it for a few days before I go. A mental and emotional readiness has to occur. A preparation within myself. To my right, sits a golf course, on it are small

Loved ones from the past

There are days that seem to bring an abundance of  memories from loved ones in our past. You have had days like this I know. Our memory can be jarred by so much. A photo, an old movie, a song, words, seasons of the year, a conversation. It can be just about anything. Most days it makes us appreciate what is good in our lives. It makes it hard to understand why things are the way they are with much in the world. How easy it is to be hateful and opinionated against other people and their ways. How sometimes it seems that people need to have a target for that anger. And how little it takes to try to be understanding, appreciative, keep a sense