A new beginning

Springtime, Easter, birth, flowering, etc . . . events and things remind us of new beginnings, a fresh start. It is a  time to make changes or be more assertive in our goals and actions.
We don't have to wait for signs to start new beginnings. Every season,  every day and every minute we have the opportunity to begin again, to be better, to do all the things we said we were going to do. Our time is now.
Let every moment in your life inspire you to be new and curious about your world and your existence. To explore, to share, to be contributing to life. It is your time to be and do.
Every single day is your new beginning. Keep an open mind, an open heart and a positive attitude.

Life as an Abstract

I am a painter and often I am asked what I paint. My favorite is abstract and people ask why don't I paint a tree, a house, a portrait or a landscape. When they look at my paintings they sometimes ask what it is supposed to be or what I want to express to them. It is whatever you want it to be I tell them. What we see is who we are. Just as each one of us chooses what we want from our individual lives. It can be anything and everything, but we have to really look at ourselves and study what and who we are.
Life . . . . I used to think that life was specific, black and white, yes or no, more definite. Well, I used to think a lot of things. Funny thing about life, the more you live it, the less it seems to be what you thought it was. I am finding that life is really pretty abstract in many things. Not much is clearly defined and that which is defined is basic and true. Much of our view of our individual life is what we think happened, how we interpret it, rather than what actually happened. When we live through an experience, it is usually a learning experience and we became a better person for it. Our views are changed by people, by happenings, by experiences. Sometimes by things that we have no control over. But very often by the choices we make every single day. And that is the beauty of it. Everyday is about the possibility of more, of better, of hope and change and unlimited joys and opportunity to grow as a person. We can grow in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Everyday we get to see something new, something different, sometimes with a new perspective and other times with a confirmation of an old one. I like to see myself as having the quality of an abstract, that there is no end to what is possible and still much to explore and discover.

Where did they go?

          I have often thought of someone . . . and then ask myself . . . where did they go?  There were bloggers that I followed, that I looked forward to reading. Writers who shared a little bit of themselves, or visions of who they wanted us to think they were. People that shared humor, heartaches, stories of everyday life. And suddenly they are gone. Just an empty nothing where their words used to move me. Sometimes they tell us their plans, but mostly not. Where did they go? Did they stop writing? I don't believe so. Did something happen? I miss some of them. I wonder about them. I remember their stories. But there is no way to find them. No name, address or phone number.

        The same is true of people that we meet in different times of our lives. We meet, share experiences, become friends. We share love, share goals, experiences. And then . . .  Life brings changes. We age. Change jobs. Form new relationships. Have children. Change ideas, beliefs. Get more interests. Get closer to God, move away from God. Open our world more. Close our world more. Move. Become parent to our parents. Lives go in all different directions. We begin to run out of time. We waste time, juggle time. Fall to illness. Take care of others. Neglect ourselves. Get to know death more frequently. Make choices, on our own or the influence of others. Sometimes the time together is long. Sometimes not.

          It is true . . . people are in our lives for a reason, a season. I wish them all well. Whatever they are doing. I wish them happy times, love and great adventures. For that is how I see them. Like a crab that has outgrown it's shell, never to return. Because you can't go back. Appreciate the moment, however long it is.

unexpectedly

photo courtesy www.guzer.com/photo/lets-be-friends


Love, caring and sharing.
Do you have a special someone that makes life better for you no matter what is happening?
The person you go to to share your joys, your heartbreaks. They are your constant comfort zone . . . a  'coming home' and feeling safe state of mind.
Are you that someone to anyone else?

I am so fortunate that I have people like this in my life.

Often they are not the first, or even the most likely, that one might think of.
They understand unconditional.

Just to hear their voice or feel their embrace makes the whole world better right away.
I hope that I have been (and will be) that 'coming home' for someone.

We need to tell them how important they are to us. Please tell them soon.

risk . . .

So many times we are afraid. I know I have been afraid many times in my life. Afraid to be myself. Afraid that someone will think less of me or find me inadequate or undesirable.
I was looking for that safety net, that lifeguard, a rope to hold onto or that cushion to soften a fall to let me know I would be ok.
But sometimes in life you won't find any of these tangible securities surrounding you.

You have to become your own security. You have to learn how to swim. and learn to understand the waters of what lies before you. Start in the shallow waters. Play and feel the pleasure of the  water. Take care of your body, make it healthy and strong. Nurture your spirit and soul. Kindly love your own heart. Clear your mind. Be aware of your breathing.  . . . .  Breathe slowly, deeply.  Be mindful and aware of your surroundings.
It takes some of us longer to swim than others. I am late to the pool. But I am here. Today I venture out a little farther, a little deeper, more confidant. There is always risk, but there is great joy when you are confident, prepared and adventurous.

heart

Don't be hesitant to touch my heart.

Come in.

For love is inside, now, as it always has been, for you.




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It's not how I thought it was

     The older I get the more I realize how little control I have of much of anything in life. That is a statement unto itself.
     I always thought that as an adult you would have it all together, even more so if you had an educattion, worked hard at whatever it is you do, and had good intentions. I believed that . . well, that life would work out pretty much okay.
     I have learned  that some of that matters, but not enough to make it as important as I once thought. My personal mission, these last few years, has been to watch people and gather information on what makes someone happy and what constitutes a good life. This is very unscientific and based on the conclusions and opinions of myself only. 
     The things that make life good are so very simple.
Enough food to eat and drink,
a roof to cover your head and keep you safe from the elements
clean air to breathe,
reasonably good health,
a purpose in life,
appreciation of what you have,
the privlege of loving and being loved,
a sense/belief of someone or something greater than yourself,
a sense of humor,
freedom to live your own life as you deem fit,
active participation in life
an openness and willingness to change
 and hope.
      Funny, even if we are lacking in one or some of these, we can still function, but a void exists. I think that we can have many of these and that sometimes we gain or loose them for a while. May this year bring you more of what you need to make your life good. Share what you can. Work toward what you don't have. Be respectful and caring. Try to forgive someone. Be thankful for what you have.
     Is there any that you would want to add to my list?

The day AFTER Thanksgiving Day

This is the day AFTER Thanksgiving. Of course I ate too much, reminisced about the past, missed people no longer with us, cried a few tears in their memory, joyed at the prospect of new tomorrows, smiled at the constant changes that happen in our lives, and listened, talked and laughed.

All day yesterday I was thinking about what the day really means, listening to people and what they give thanks for out loud. It was really the simplest of things that were mentioned again and again and seemed the most important. Good health, friends, family, enough food to eat, a roof over their heads, a job, a sense of humor, faith, laughter. And almost everyone finished their thoughts with . . . "I am really so blessed already".

I have to agree. But I want to add something else. I am so very thankful to see that HOPE stills lives on and that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE somehow prevails and is strong enough to make everything better.

an RSVP

I think this message is timely for the beginning of a new week.
I went to a birthday party this weekend for a 70 year young person. All was lovely. the venue, the people, food and music. There was of course a reason to celebrate good times. There were acknowlegements, speeches and words to live by.

The birthday celebrant held in his hand an RSVP. It was the first one he received after the invitations went out. From a special person in his life. Yes, I'll be there the RSVP said.

But something happened. With best intentions to be part of a celebration, the sender of the RSVP suddenly had passed away a week earlier. It matters not their age, or their intentions. They were gone now. Sometimes we shouldn't wait for an official occassion to share freindship or love. That moment may not be there for us. We have to do it at every chance we have. May you have moments in your life this week, that you take the time to make a difference.

The Truth about Diaries

     Yesterday, I read a story about diaries. Oh, how profound their contents can be. The author journaled everyday for years. 
    In elementary school, I kept my first diary. It excited me writing about my feelings and secrets. It even had a flimsy little "lock and key" to keep the contents private. My friends told their diaries everything on their minds, their hopes, dreams and problems.
     My mother found my diary while changing the bed sheets while I was at school. Tucked under the corner of the mattress. She knew I had it. It was from a gift exchange at school for the holidays. The problem began when my mother read it.  Now, my mother was European with a very limited formal education. As a young girl in war torn Europe her life was very different than mine. (a tragic story for another time).
     She had to read and translate. The literal translation of one language to another does not usually translate well. I had been angry with her one day, actually many days, as I deemed her way too strict and controlling. I wanted to be like the other girls. So I wrote my story, from the perspective of an eleven year old and motivated by what my friends wrote in theirs.  I wrote words that were angry and emotional. But there wasn't an issue in trying to translate my entry.
    I had written that I hate my mother. Imagine how she felt reading my words. You don't need a translation for that. I didn't see her face when she read it since I was at school at the time. By when I came home, she met me with a stern look on her face.There wasn't any evidence of hurt coming from her. At least not from my view. There was anger and rage and lots of screaming. About how lucky I was to have parents. How she wished she still had hers. I don't know how much she thought about what I had written over the years. But I certainly learned how powerful words are.
     Because of that, when I write, I think about honesty. And I think about perception. There are times when I find it hard to put the words down without wondering how it would affect the person reading it. Sometimes, maybe too often, I give them the benefit of the doubt. I give them that little bit of opening to feel that it is not just about me and my opinion, but it is my perception at that moment. I would like them to read it one day. One day when I feel they might understand what I write and why I write. Not to judge, but to understand. To grow. To go back and read again for new perspective. That goes both ways, for me and for them. Because only in the revelation of trying to be honest do our words speak the truth.
   I write this in honor of my mother's birthday today. I knew long ago that she understood. I love you Mom.

OK, I'm Admitting

I am admitting that I am not perfect. So what you say. No big deal. Ahh, but it is a big deal. But not in the way you might be thinking.

 It's not that I wish I were pefect. Sure, I used to want that. Or I thought I did. I thought it was possible. But I can't even define what a perfect person is or does. People that think they are perfect, or close to it, are really just stuck in place.

Imperfection is growth. It still has potential and possibilities. Imperfection is not afraid. I love imperfection that has a positive and yet a relaxed attitude. I have seen growth in myself, especially in the last few years. I had grown tired of being whatever I was supposed to be for others. It definitely wasn't working. I wasn't even sure that my efforts were going to be accepted, let alone appreciated. That's not a good feeling. Unsure. Hesitant. Doubtful. That was me. Because no matter how I added up my list of efforts, accomplishments or attempts . . . my bottom line of perfection just was never enough. It was never going to be any more than that. Attempts. You see, I forgot the major quotient in the math problem. ME. The more I am not striving for perfection, the more I can strive for being realistic, being better, being sincere. The less I worry about perfect, the more I can use my energy to just do. I don't believe I might fail.  I believe I will grow. I will be more because everything I do adds to my worth. I am open to knowing I might fail, but I probably won't. I will accomplish more than I thought. I am not afraid. I am enlightened. I am inspired. I am confident. Happiness comes from inside factors, not outside ones. I finally figured out how to do the math story problem that I always disliked. Add a "genuine" me to the total. I'm discovering that maybe math isn't so bad after all.

The Full Plate

   I've been really busy lately and have a full plate. Most of it is really quite good if I put forth my best efforts into my projects.  But I am human and have a knack for procrastinating, of which I am not always proud of.  It's as if I have a full tank as I'm getting on the road for a fun trip and in my exuberance I realize that suddenly my fuel tank is close to empty and I don't know what direction the next gas station is at. And in the regrouping, I have lost some of the momentum for the trip because I also sense I am needing to take time out to eat, sleep and better understand my journey.

      I have always admired those that can visualize the big picture better than I can. It is a continuous learning procecss for me. That, with the added realization that I am slowing down a bit because of the natural aging process and some health concerns have left me questioning my skills of time management. In the last few months I have felt pangs of anxiety in my list of things I am working on, things I need to devote more time too, stuff I want to do more of, some needed down times and everyday life in general.  I sense that perhaps I am not always making the best use of my time. I'm not the first person that feels this way and far from the last. One thing for sure, I am NOT bored.

     So today, I will waste a little time, feel overwhelmed, make 'todays' list, review my 'still to do' list,  daydream, get in the shower, count my blessings and get back on the road with a full tank. I may not be sure where the next refueling station is, but I have an extra gallon of fuel with me, a blanket with bread, wine and cheese to stop and enjoy the scenery, a camera to capture it to memory and the joy of taking someone with me and making friends along the way. How wonderful life is that I have taken a step back to realize my endless opportunities and that I can accomplish much in each step along the way. I really don't think I want to ever reach a permanent "goal", I think I am much happier exploring the endless goal posts down the road of  my life and just keep moving along at the pace that's right for me.

Our amazing bodies

The human body is amazing.
When you can't do something by the original way that most people do it, there is always another way.
If you are blind, you can still see . . . . . . .  
(by touching)
If you are deaf, you can still hear. . . . . . .
(by vibrations)
If you are mute, you can still speak  . . . . .
(by sign language)
If your heart has been broken, you can still love again . . . .
(by choice).

a few hours

It doesn't take much.
Just a few hours of talking and laughing with a friend, can change your whole perspective on life again.

words that tear at your heart

I went to a funeral recently, this was a friend of mine, but even more so, he was a lifelong friend of my S.O.
Lifetime friends. We don't get to have many of those. 
My S.O. has been keeping up with him for years and was able to be with him when he passed away.
After his death, we called our condolences by phone, and had stopped by the house.

But here at the funeral home things are sometimes so real, so intense.  Death seems to take up so very much room often taking up all the air around us.
I was giving condolences to our friend (the widow) and hugging her, both of us had tears streaming down our cheeks. She hugged me back so very fiercely and desperately saying, " I don't know what I am going to do without him. He was my world, he was my everything".

We become changed after every death in our lives. As we will change the lives of others upon our death.
Give an extra hug today. Say words with meaning. Forgive a little bit more.  Love the person as much as you can. It is a privilege to have someone to love you and for you to have someone to love.

Bloggers, Giving, and Paying It forward

Lately many of us are cutting back, staying in, doing without and giving less. Understandable with the economy and all that's going or not going on. We draw in when things get tough whether in our personal lives or the world in general.

When we don't get, it is good to give. It is really at this time that we have the potential to change someone's day, their attitude and their direction in life. Gestures of kindness. So simple. And that in turn gives back to you. A circle of everyone just giving a little of themselves, even to someone you don't know.

I'd like to introduce you to,

Mary Stebbins Taitt. A poet, an artist, a free spirit, a gentle soul, a friend . . . With A Pay It Forward opportunity. She is as diverse and fascinating as there are hours in the day. I first stumbled on her at "Marys Detroit Photoblog". She photographs beautiful aspects of the Detroit area that has too long been thought of as decaying and old. I progressed to "MoleskinExchange", where she and other artists draw and paint in each other's  journals by passing them from one artist to the other. That is a definite "need to check" out blog.

Today travel to her "No Polar Coordinates" for a chance to receive a Pay It Forward of her lovely art.

I have been graced by friendships because of blogging that otherwise would never have happened. Isn't that how life is?  Friends come into our lives for a reason or a season and some make a bigger difference in our lives than they will ever know.

THREE WORDS

Can you descibe yourself in three words?
A difficult task to be sure.
Are they the same three words that those closest to you would use?

I had a class, quite some time ago, that was intimate because we spent an entire year and
a half together studying and doing practical clinical time. It was early mornings, late nights and
accelerated studies. A stressful time. Many were short on money, going through changes in
relationships, trying to work as well and be a part of family and friends too. Everyday stresses
and more added to a pressure cooker. Not enough hours in the day. Yes, I'm sure most of
 you can relate in some way.
At the end of the year, there was a day where everyone had to describe each other in class in
three words. We had to write them down on paper. No one saw what anyone wrote.
 The next day we were given the words that described us.
A pretty powerful experience. Some surprises and mostly many affirmations.
Overall it was really much more positive than anything.
Think about it. Do you know the same you that others do?

just do it . . .

Sometimes when you take a chance and go outside your box you will discover a whole new you.

Out on a Limb

Sometimes it's good to sit higher and farther out on the limb than your usual comfy place. 
When you look about you'll have the opportunity to see the world and
yourself from a new perspective.

Summer and enjoying life's pleasures

A few suggestions from me for the beginning of our summer season:

Make time for yourself today.
Do something that you love.
Connect with nature.
Be thankful for the blessings you have.
Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone.
Remember to share and your joys will be multiplied.
Try to find humor in your life.
Give love sincerely.
Walk barefoot in the sand or grass.
Extend a smile to those you meet.