My heart has been bruised. Like every bruise, it hurts to touch it.
I have been trying to make sense of things. To be open to understanding, that perhaps I am too sensitive in my interpretations or reactions. I could only come to the conclusion that, yes, I am sensitive, and no, I am not being too sensitive. I am being honest with how I feel. And that is what is difficult.
I received news which should be an opportunity for a new beginning, a chance for positive adjustments, excitement, anticipation and celebration for happy days. A chance to let go of some of the hurts and misunderstandings of the past and have them become lessons in what matters in life, for everyone.
It's the way the message was sent that I am unhappy about. I received a message in an electronic mail form. Somehow the choice of courier of that message was what was hard for me to understand. Often times, it is intent and presentation that influence the feeling of a message. Email, although it has a message, it can fall short of the feeling of sincerity in deliverance of emotion, warmth or mutual embrace. To followup in a more intimate manner is simple.A phone call can be more personal, and a person to person contact is the most intimate of all.
To be reasonable, I had to think about the importance of message couriers to diffferent people. Maybe certain ages, certain issues, certain intentions are beyond my understanding right now. What is important to one might be of little significance to another. But in actuality, I think I received the message in how it was meant to be interpreted. Right now, I don't know what to think, or really what direction to go to make things work out.
It brings me to a point of being less optimistic. I still opt for being hopeful, although I am finding that hopeful and realistic don't always use the same travel plans. I'll have to look farther down the road to see if the roads lead to the same destination or at least neighboring cities.