Thursday, May 6, 2010
Sometimes it's not much that catches me off guard. Even the smallest word or action can take me back in time so fast that I don't know what happened. Others around me of course aren't aware of what has transpired, but it is powerful none the less. My mother, my father and my twin brother have all passed away, the four of us were the "immediate" family. I think about them frequently, actually it's intersting to me how I think about them almost everyday in some manner. At times all I want to do is share something with them, a bit of humor, some conversation, thoughts or feelings about something. Just a moment to hear their voice, see their face, have an idle exchange. There is something though that I find difficult. It's the fact that I don't have anyone to share their life histories with that remembers them in the same way that I do. I feel that I am losing grasp of some of the memories, that the memories are slipping away and there is no way that I can get them back if they are lost. I want to remember everything and of course I can't. So I am pleased and thankful when an interaction, a word, a picture or an experience remind me of them in some way. And that makes me smile and be happy in my heart. It feels as good as a warm breeze on my face on a hot, still day.