Saturday, February 20, 2010
A Peacock and a Tiger
Let me set a sample scenario for you. For instance. a group setting, a relaxing weekend evening, A BBQ, bonfire, balmy skies, with a bit of chill in the air, everyone getting closer to the fire to get warm. First a bit of idle chatter, weather, a little news, introductions and maybe a few drinks, or not. Certainly everyone is friendly, you feel welcome, perhaps you know some or most people, everyone chatting, laughing, seemingly having a great time and you are very much a part of the conversation. And yet for some reason you feel that you don't quite belong?
Do you ever feel that way? Like a croissant in a box of donuts, a cup of hot tea with lemon amidst a martini bar, a pair of ballerina shoes in a row of hiking boots, a chocolate bar on the salad menu, a pony in a chicken coup, a paintbrush in a box of crayons, a mermaid and a flutter of fairies. Not that any of it is better or lesser, just different.
That happpens to me frequently. I usually have a great time, but sometime during the course of the evening, comes a realization in a split of a nonosecond of time that makes me feel I am different. Do you ever feel that way?
As much as I love being around people and can be very social, and could never be an isolationist, I am oft times a bit of a loner. I like quiet times, and can entertain myself for hours and days at a time. I am actually quite happy then and enjoy being reflective. I find that I need alone time, it is calming and self nurturing to me. I have friends that can't do anything by themselves, and others that like to be the life of the party. And some friends that are a bit more shy or reserved in crowds maybe, but I think this is a different feeling altogether.I guess I like the option of being around people and of being by myself too.
So what I am saying is, I am always happy to share your company, and love visiting and having fun together, but don't be offended if I have to go and you don't see me for a a bit. It's just the way it is.